stuck in the middle with me

stuck image

happy full moon friends!

i had started writing this newsletter several times this month, but kept hitting a stopping point. there were many external factors (i.e. excuses) that i could point to, but when it comes down to it, i just felt a stuck. i changed my topic focus about ten different times (and now have several months worth of good writing prompts!), but nothing seemed to fully resonate with what i wanted to share right now. i would keep getting distracted while writing… or just ramble on and on… and eventually fizzle out and give up.

“what can i offer to the world, when i’m feeling so stuck myself?” i wondered.  i felt frustrated and twisted up and more than once uttered another powerful word that, conveniently, rhymes with stuck. (*#^*!!) all my usual tricks for approaching writer’s block weren’t working. nothing seemed to be working.  and then, like the light of the full moon shining through my window and onto my sleeping body this morning, inspiration struck… “the stuckness is it!”

it’s funny to me that i didn’t clue into this sooner. over the last couple of weeks many clients i’ve worked with, as well as friends around me, have shared how stuck they’ve felt. many of told me about patterns that they don’t see an obvious way out of, no matter what they do. then yesterday i was invited to share as a guest speaker on a conference call where the topic was SRI stage three, which is called, (no surprise) “stuck!”

these were all pointers to my own state. in fact, i always seem to learn best by seeing what’s happening around me. whenever i’m unclear about something within myself, i try to remember to pay attention to what’s showing up in my space and the words i am saying to the people around me. it’s amazing how often the support i am offering a client or friend, is the wisdom i hadn’t been able to access by myself. the teaching is the learning.

i realize now that i was stuck in not knowing what to write about, because what i needed to write about was feeling stuck. the particular pattern that kept me from seeing this is rooted in an outdated idea that i must be in a fully “healed” place to offer insight or support others in their healing. coming from a long line of missionaries and pastors, this pattern is deeply rooted in my family and has been in a process of transformation for years. as i was able to be with it once again, unpeeling another layer. i was able to bless it, accept the ways it served me and set it free to be transformed into a story that serves my life better now.

i now have way more available energy, allowing me to nearly effortlessly write this newsletter. all the pushing and forcing of the last few weeks has been replaced with focused, clear action today.

have you been feeling stuck in some area of your life, or with a specific project or relationship?  does it feel like nothing you try is working? here are a few things that i’ve learned don’t work for me when i’m in that place: forcing an answer/solution… trying to fix the issue… blaming something/someone for the pain…  distracting myself from really feeling the frustration of not being able to progress.

and here are some things that have given me more energy, insight, and peace when i’m in that place: being with the frustration and really feeling it… owning that i’m stuck and that it’s about my own limited patterns, whether i consciously understand them or not… practicing self-compassion and curious observing of those patterns… seeing that there was once a wisdom to playing out these patterns…  letting the teaching i offer others boomerang back to me… focusing on what’s working, rather than what’s not… giving my gifts freely and acknowledging all the gifts being freely offered back… trusting and accepting what is, rather than what i want it to be.  also, the full moon helps.

with some of that freed up energy, i was also able to complete a new version of my website, after months of working on it. i’m so excited to have a site that feels more aligned with what i’m offering these days and i’m very open to feedback of all kinds to help create the best possible vehicle for sharing those offerings. check it out here.

for those interested, the conference call i mentioned was with an amazing practitioner, dr. matthew lyon of the network wellness center in charlotte, north carolina. you can listen to it for free for the next month here. it’s about an hour long – with lots of rich dialogue about the nature of being in that “stuck” place and then, around minute 45, i lead SRI stage 3, an exercise to help access more energy in your body when you are feeling stuck. hope you find it as helpful to hear it as i found doing it!

wishing you the patience, peace and compassion to be with your own stuck places so that they may feel seen, safe and energized to break through.

with love,

vanessa

 

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