reality beyond the realistic

a6d570dd-fdc6-49a0-bfc8-f1d21727da11-1.jpggreetings friends –

i’m writing to you from the very sunny state of colorado, where i’m participating this weekend in a healing retreat with dr. donny epstein.

as some of you may know donny is a masterful and magical teacher, and the creator of my main modality, somato respiratory integration (SRI), among many other revoluntionary healing technologies. i have come to many retreats and trainings with donny over the last seven years, which have been profoundly life changing for me. this particular weekend feels even more amazing, however, because i am here alongside both my mother and father who joined me for the retreat.

honestly, i did not expect my parents to agree to join. both beautifully open hearted and open minded people, this has been part of my world, not theirs. when i heard about this particular weekend, i immediately had an intuitive hit to invite them along. this sense was then nearly as immediately followed by all of the stories of why they wouldn’t come.

all the “they’d never come” statements went something like this... it’s too expensive… it’s too far out of their comfort zone… mom’s too busy… dad loves his routine too much…. blah, blah, blah, excuse, limiting story, etc… 

then, thanks to a lot of the tools and healing i’ve received at these very retreats, i asked myself this question…

“what would I do right now if i didn’t have these stories?”

the answer was clear… i’d invite them to join. so I started this text to them..

“hey – i know this is not your thing and probably won’t work but….”

(scratch. try again.)

“hey there – it’s expensive and will require travel but…”

(delete. again, what if i didn’t have these stories?)

“hey folks – i’m feeling called to go to a healing retreat with donny in april and would love to have you there with me. interested?”

boom. sent.

the text bubbles of my dad’s response started forming nearly instantaneously and a moment later i read this from him:

“sure! sounds like a good growth experience. i’ll talk to your mom about it.”

by that night, they had sent in their registration forms.

(woah.)

and here we are, sharing what is already proving to be one of the most powerful experiences i’ve ever had with them.

perhaps what we believe is “realistic” is elastic – and what we call ‘reality’ (conditioned by what we focus on and the stories we tell about what that) has infinite possibilities.

when i get curious about my stories… i can more easily notice what those defeatist, limiting or cynical stories are protecting. i can be present with the numbness, fear, disappointment, anger, etc, that was beneath them. i can then choose a more spacious story or simply surrender all of my mind’s stories and act on a deeper knowing. it is in these moments that an abundance of synchronicity, support and surprise seem to miraculously fill my life. all the “supporting evidence” i’d built to defend my stories melts, and magic takes it place.

even if my parents had declined coming this weekend… and even if it was for all the reasons my mind was creating… the sheer act of asking the question without the conditioning opened up a new space between us and within me. it facilitated an upgrade to a more courageous version of myself, trusting that the risk of disappointment is worth the reward of living congruent with my heart.

telling better stories or even acting beyond the stories is different than turning a blind eye to what is happening in the world and in our personal lives. when the eyes of our heart and soul are open, we know there is more to know than what our mind thinks it knows.

do you feel stuck in a narrative that leaves you in an unsatisfying relationship with your life and the world? who would you be without those stories? what would you do differently TODAY if those stories weren’t ruling your actions?

with love, possibilities and the willingness to expand reality beyond what’s realistic,

vanessa

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