Welcome to this new decade friends!
As I’ve been calling up my 2020 vision over this past week, the themes of speaking out, discovering what brings me pleasure and following what I desire, have all shown up. As I’ve done for many years as part of my new years envisioning, I drew one tarot card to offer a possible focus/insight for my coming year.
Imagine my disappointment when the “hermit” card show up.
Dismayed, feeling like this monastic, seemingly isolating archetype was hardly supportive of the awake, vocal, turned on woman I feel myself becoming, I almost stuck it back in the deck and started over. After all, I use the cards as a tool of illuminating what I already know, not rigidly or predictively.
But after the initial reaction passed, it struck me that this card was an invitation to turn down the external speakers and hear my own voice clearer than ever. How can I speak out if I haven’t listened in?
Right on cue, I woke up this morning, the first full day of this new decade of speaking out, with full on laryngitis. The divine has a sense of humor.
Instead of carrying on with the plans I had with friends and family, like I may have done back in the 2010s, I took this as an internal message to stop, drop my plans and listen. This is the pattern interruption I’ve been calling in, where I act upon my own rhythms, even if they might disappoint others.
Like most of us, I was taught to distrust my natural rhythms, cravings and desires. I learned that much of what I wanted to do, eat, experience, etc was rooted in my sinful/weak nature and came from my greed, selfishness, gluttony and lust – all characteristics I’d be best to train myself out of.
But in my understanding of reality, every being at their core is innately loving, open and desires meaningful connection. Despite how off track much of our conditioning has taken us, all of desires bubble up to support life, love and our true nature of interconnectedness.
Anything repressed will eventually get expressed, usually toxically. When, instead, we say yes to these initial impulses of any desire, we can respond to their innate wisdom, rather than react out of compliance or rebellion.
If we bring these unsavory parts into the light we may see that…
Our “greed” is here to reconnect us with the abundant nature of the universe…
Our “selfishness” is here to keep us connected and in full relationship with the unique aspect of nature that we were created to express…
Our “gluttony” is here to ensure we are amply fueled and nourished…
Our “lust” is here to remind us that our senses were designed for pleasure and to keep the flow of creation (including, but not limited to, procreation) going.
When I woke up to my voiceless body today, I chose to lean in, follow my body’s cue and choose a full day of intentional silence (Enter hermit, stage left).
Saying yes to my desires and natural rhythms like this consistently leaves me in a more energized, expansive and aligned space, able to give my soul’s gifts to others so much more effortlessly and abundantly. (Exit all of my conditioning to the contrary stage right)
Instead of deciding what to deny yourself this year, perhaps these first few days of this new decade can be a moment to listen in and hear what desires are speaking up within you. Would love to hear what arises!
Selfishly, greedily, gluttonously, lustfully and soulfully,